So my brother emailed to find out how we were doing.

I emailed back and forth with him for several days. I’m going to post some of it on here because I had to explain a bunch of stuff to him, so maybe someone out there will get some help by reading them.

My response to his email was as follows.

We are doing OK.. He is still struggling and we are getting assistance through the government.. but not enough for rent.

So we are moving back in with friends in a few more weeks time.

They are looking to buy a manufactured home on some land out, if they do it will be large enough for all of us until we get on our feet.

I am also waiting to get Section 8 housing. I applied out in another county because they take less time than our current county does. So we may be able to get our own place again within 3 to 6 months.

I have one more year of school. I will probably start looking for work as soon as Christmas time is over.  We should be find until then but we’ll see how the situation is going at the point.

I made him apply for SSI and Disability. I think we will be able to get on a Pre-SSI program fairly soon but SSI doesn’t take that long. I am not sure how much he would get though. And then Disability can take a while. So I think a job is the only way.. just the timing of it is what I am thinking about the most. I think he still needs support for me at home and I want to get started in the school year before I start a job. Also he still has not been able to get into therapy. We had K. insurance but they couldn’t get him into the DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) therapy program until like October. Now we have the state health plan. So I am working on getting him  a new doctor and therapy through that program. From what I hear, the DBT therapy works really well. So I pray that it does for him. They also need to find the proper meds that work. The ones he is on right now do not really seem to be doing a good job. But he is managing…. Somewhat.

Anyway. Not to burden you. Do not worry about me, although I know you’ll say you will. I am FINE. I feel fine. I know things get bad at times and that is when you learn to trust in God the most. I have learned that. God has been meeting me every step of the way. I know my “strength” - not breaking down as most people would - is because I do have a strong faith in Him and that He will provide for us and that he has a plan for me and my family.

Not many people in our family can understand that nor do they want to. They think that you have to do it all yourself and that God is not going to be there for you. That is NOT true.

Take Care.

PS. I did find a new home for our dog. We got her a few months ago before this all happened but with us losing our apartment I did not see any other way. So I found her a nice home. We are now pet-less and will be for a long time to come. I think we need to take a break from animals. I just am a big animal lover I guess. LOL

So today we went to an appointment where we may qualify for “pre-SSI” family asssitance for those who are part of TANF which is Temporary Assistance for Needy Families.  Seems we may qualify, possibly. I hope so as I am so not sure what to do or where to go from here.

My biggest struggle so far as been trying to decide if I can “afford” to go back to work without losing our benefits we are receiving such as state medical, food stamps and cash assistance. Being a MOM and not the sole provider is hard. Having to take care of our kids, of my husband who is almost harder than a child at times.. I take that back, he IS harder than a child. I have to worry about him, if he is going to do something to hurt himself again. He is a cutter. He likes to cut or burn the tops of his arms.

So I worry about him and there is nothing I can do about it.

I can’t stop him physically if he decides to do that to himself.

So we have started down the long road to disability. I am in school so it is just hard to be a mom, to maintain my grades in college (I got all A’s and only one B last year). I am going to college  just so that I can  TRY to get a good paying job because I KNOW I’ll end up being the primary provider in the future.

Well. I am worn out. I think I’ll write more later. But right now, it is not a good time.

We found out he had Bipolar about 5 or 6 years ago. It took a while before we ever knew what he had. We were married for 3+ years by that time. It sure explained a LOT about what he and I go through almost daily.

So we have been married almost 10 years now and have kids and are still struggling with this diagnosis.

Hi. So I am just starting this blog. I am not bipolar… but my husband is. Boy, what a struggle we have been having. I’m going to post more soon, but at the moment… he is dictating me to be with him in the other room. Anyway. Finally got this up and “running”. Chill